Chet Holmgren Trade Talk Looms Over Thunder-Spurs Game 5

Day 37

Record: 42-35

We skipped Knicks-Cavs Game 4 and we were instantly vindicated.

THUNDER ⛈️ (-4.5) over Spurs 🤠

- We’re looking at Game 4 and we’re forgetting our plan to ride the Thunder for the rest of the series. Just kidding! We’re sticking with our plan even though The Wembanyama made a half-court shot that we actually kind of thought had a significant chance of going in while he gathered up to shoot. We’re sticking with our plan even though Ajay Mitchell has been declared out and Rottweiler shouldn’t play (but hasn’t been ruled out). Sorry, but we’re riding The Triumverate. Do you know what we really want because we’re sick in the head? We want to ride Chet Holmgren and see him continue to get FUCKED by The Wembanyama. We want to see Chet fail to score 10 points and have that really clarify our avant-garde belief that Chet needs to be traded. Now, that proposal is starting to gain traction in Big Media, but they’re pussyfooting their way around it. Over here where the dick is, we’re the ones saying that Jaylin Williams and Isaiah Hartenstein are much better against The Wembanyama and we’re saying why (Hartenstein’s ability to be strong and Jaylin’s ability to make threes). CTESPN actually has a fake trade proposal sending Rottweiler to the Nets. That is so fucking stupid. Rottweiler is more valuable than Chet. Thomas Sorber is Chet’s replacement, not Rottweiler’s! This series needs to be Chet’s test. If the Thunder win, Chet can stay. If they lose, Chet is traded.

Here are the Chet trades that work on Spotrac. All of them obviously need to happen when the new league year starts and Chet’s poison pill provision goes away:

- Chet and a bunch of second-round picks to the Grizzlies for Santi Aldama, Brandon Clarke (lol), Cam Spencer, and the #3 pick.

- Chet and some garbage first-round picks for Trey Murphy, Jordan Hawkins, and Saddiq Bey.

- There’s some “aggregation” rules that make it look impossible to turn Chet into Giannis.

- Chet for Davion “Kindergartener” Mitchell, Nikola Jovic, Jaime Jaquez, and a lot of firsts.

- Chet for Nicolas Claxton, Terance Mann, and the #6 pick.

- Chet for Matas Buzelis, Tre Jones, Josh “High School Dance Chaperone” Giddey, and the #4 pick.