Wolves Even Series in Game 4: Wembanyama Ejected for Naz Reid Elbow

Day 24

Record: 32-30

🎶That’s right, girl. I tol’ jou. When he get on, he gohn lee’ yah ass for a white girl. WHUCH YOU WANT, a Barbie?!? Whatta ‘bout alla ‘dis?! You just want some titties?! Whadda ‘bout da ass?!? 🎶

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Did The Wembanyama look at Naz Reid and elbow the fuck out of his black face? Did The Wembanyama absolutely deserve to be ejected for winding up that bad boy and taking out Naz Reid like he was Matt Brown taking out Diego Sánchez? Fuck yeah. It’s the morning after the game and there’s nothing on CTESPN regarding The Wembanyama being suspended for Game 5, which he definitely deserves but he’s The Fucking Wembanyama. Does Penis Head Silver have the dick to suspend The Wembanyama for treating a held ball moment like a UFC knockout opportunity? Fuck no he doesn’t.

But we’re not here to talk about that right now! I just wanna focus on this Spurs roster right here because some LEAVIN’ needs to happen!

Goddamn, we watched pretty much the entire game with Dad and we got to witness a De’Aaron Fox shitshow that made him happy (because De’Aaron thought he was too big for cowtown Sacramento), and me just kinda hopeful because I think Elon Musk and the rest of the Spurs can find it within themselves to do what is difficult, but also right, after this season. And that Difficult Thing is selling De’Aaron Fox. The Spurs are getting on and they need to leave that ass for a white girl.

Is De’Aaron Fox hopelessly injured with two bad ankles? Those soft casts on both of his ankles certainly seem to support that thesis. But, you know what? Part of being worthy of The Wembanyama and not destined for oblivion in Cowtown Sacramento is being healthy enough in May to contribute to the goddamn mission! And De’Aaron is not healthy enough to do that! It’s his fault for being so small and weak! Jesus Christ, at the end of the game Elon Musk took out Carter Bryant and Luke “Catholic Hammer” Kornet and had Julian Champagnie and Devin Vassell play as the biggest Spurs. The Spurs forced a Timberwolves’ miss but De’Aaron couldn’t care less about boxing out so he just starred at the rim while Naz Reid came around and grabbed that offensive rebound around him. Jason Richardson did pretty much the same thing in 2010 when Ron Artest came to win a game with an offensive rebound putback. Steve Nash has never forgotten that. I’ve never forgotten that! Grant Hill has never forgotten that! Now, Grant Hill is too posh, polite, and “polished” to bring up how Jason Richardson really screwed him with not boxing out Ron Artest in that one Bestern Conference Finals, but he’s thinking it! Grant Hill thinks a lot of things that he would never consider saying. That’s part of Grant Hill’s charm!

24 shots on 23 attempts for De’Aaron. It felt worse. He started 5-8 from free throws and missed both on one trip to the line. You never trust De’Aaron Fox to make free throws and that’s flatly unacceptable for a serious team like the Spurs who have The Wembanyama and are ready to win a championship. The biggest free-throw liabilities that we can think of off the top of our head for championship-winning teams are: Giannis, Jaylen “Tin Man” Brown, and LeBron. None of those players are small little bitches who can’t rebound like De’Aaron Fox.

Have you been watching De’Aaron get the ball on fastbreaks and refuse to take open lanes to the rim? That’s something that we’ve been harping on so hopefully you see that now. It’s embarrassing how much of a pussy, De’Aaron Fox is on these fastbreaks. Keldon Johnson, De’Aaron is not. Keldon thinks he’s on a Holy Crusade whenever he gets a coast-to-coast opportunity. Terrible game from Keldon but he absolutely had one Mission to Mecca. Keldon has been doing that, and we appreciate it! But yes, De’Aaron isn’t attacking the rim like the athlete he’s supposed to be. You see it in the fast break reluctance, but also in his pick-and-roll practice. De’Aaron is obviously leaning towards “pass” because he doesn’t want to elevate towards the basket for a rim attempt. Bad stuff. His agent can get on the phone with Brian Wright and Elon Musk after the year and be like, “De’Aaron had two bum ankles. He’ll be ready to kill next year when he’s not so injured entering May!” Please. Get out of here. So weak.

Did De’Aaron go 1 for 7 from three? Of course! De’Aaron has a midrange shot that’s kind of automatic but he doesn’t make catch-and-shoot threes and these dribbling stepbacks that he’s taking from behind the arc are extremely tough shots. He’s not good!

Here’s something else that De’Aaron is plainly terrible at: he loses track of his man when the ball is being possessed by another player! This is an extension of his inability to locate Naz Reid on that offensive rebound and at least put his body in the way of Naz Reid sealing the game. De’Aaron had the easy job of guarding Mike Conley. Mike Conley is 40 years old. He’s not breaking you down on the dribble like Naz Reid will. Mike Conley is here to make catch-and-shoot threes. Unlike De’Aaron’s ghetto ass. So Julius Randle winds up with the ball around the free-throw line and De’Aaron turns into one of those bugs that can’t stop being obsessed with the lanturn light. De’Aaron totally forgets that he’s responsible for guarding Mike Conley. Mike RELOCATES along the three-point line. Randle passes Mike the ball. Mike makes the three that he knew he would take after he saw De’Aaron get transfixed by the light. That stuff really makes me upset. Top-3 things in reverse order that make me upset while watching a playoff game (and also playing in real life lol): allowing offensive rebounds, not establishing physical and psychological dominance at the rim, live-ball turnovers.

You wanna focus? Focus on this!

Focus on how goddamn excellent Dylan Harper is. You can look at his ‘-14’ and you can politely leave. It’s too obvious that Dylan Harper is better than De’Aaron and Stephon Castle. My goodness. We love seeing Dylan Harper go to the rim. He’s not like De’Aaron where he’ll pussy out of layup opportunities. Whatever Ron Harper Sr did to help Dylan learn how to finish at the rack is just masterful tutoring. Maybe it’s just Dylan being a genius at the rim. Dylan is different as a finisher around the basket. He really might be the next in line to the Kyrie Finishing Throne that we suspected him of when we watched 5 minutes of his Rutgers highlights.

Seven rebounds, three steals, and no missed free throws on seven attempts. That’s great basketball! We love Dylan Harper and it’s a shame that he’s a rookie this year. Dylan is so good that it’s obvious that the Spurs can’t keep going forward with this charade of De’Aaron Fox being the primary ballhandler because he’s older and makes more money. If they want to get swifty, Elon Musk and the Spurs can go into next year with a lineup of The Wembanyama, Harper, Carter Bryant, Devin Vassell, and Julian Champagnie. That’s the lineup that makes me excited. Harper can handle all of the ball-handling void that the three wings there create. Notice how Stephon Castle wasn’t a part of my Excitement Spurs Lineup (ESL)?

That’s because Stephon Castle is pissing me off. He managed to get himself comfortable enough early in this game to make the fadeaway midrange shots that he’s comfortable with. Only 1 turnover, which obviously was an offensive foul, when he tried to stiff-arm Naz Reid while dribbling towards the rim. That was during crunch time. Somehow, that was the only turnover that Stephon Castle had. He really gets his hand under the ball while he dribbles. Can Scott Foster get some dick and call Stephon Castle for a couple of carrying violations early in the game? Stephon does that more than other players and he does it in a slow way which makes it more obvious and flagrant. Stephon Castle is not someone who we trust to bring the ball up the court against heavy pressure.

I gotta testify.

Catholic Hammer looked better than French Rejection. That was something I thought and that Dad vocally confirmed. The stat sheet says that the Timberwolves got 15 offensive rebounds and that’s certainly an unacceptable number for the Spurs to allow, a lot of those offensive rebounds felt like balls that managed to bounce to the one place where a Wolves player was perfectly positioned to grab it. Most of the offensive rebounds did not feel like Naz Reid being ignored by De’Aaron to seal the game.

Elon Musk should’ve played Catholic Hammer more than 26 minutes and he should’ve challenged the terrible foul call against Julian Champagnie blocking Anthony Edwards’ shot. That looked like a clean block when it happened and the replay confirmed it. Even with all of the HP and Apple laptops that the Spurs’ assistant coaches have, they couldn’t tell Elon that they needed to challenge that foul call because the block was clean by Champagnie. Elon Musk isn’t a complete dipshit with his challenges like J.B. Bickerstaff, but he needed to initiate one there.

Did Elon play De’Aaron too much? The plus-minus stats say that Elon played Dylan Harper too much but that was completely the opposite of how you felt watching the game. Maybe Dylan Harper lined up with the De’Aaron Fox minutes where he missed 3 free throws and 6 threes.

On the Timberwolves coaching side, Chris Finch is wearing too many beaded bracelets next to his watch. Yes, we get it Chris. You have sex. Your beaded bracelets really hammer that point home to us! We understand!

But another thing we notice about Chris Finch maybe having a lot of sex is the Converse shoes he wears. Those are extremely uncomfortable shoes and everyone knows that women really get hot for guys who wear uncomfortable shoes. Even if the guy ruptured his patellar tendon while coaching on the sidelines like Chris Finch did against the Suns in 2024.

When Chris Finch is done making me disapprove of what he wears, he can go ahead and get back to fucking playing mah nigga Terrence Shannon more. Jesus Fucking Christ, 20 minutes?! Chris, are you retarded? What the fuck does Terrence have to do?! Terrence drew an illegal screen on Carter Bryant after making 2 corner threes during the fourth quarter. Terrence also drew a charge on Devin Vassell after forcing Stephon Castle to pass away the ball because Stephon couldn’t dribble while Terrence was guarding him on the perimeter. What the fuck is Chris Finch’s problem with Terrence Shannon?! Terrence never shies away from an opportunity to send a message at the rim on driving opportunities! My God. For what? For what, Chris? For Ayo Dosunmu to play like he’s desperately trying not to tear his Achilles? So Jaden McDaniels can get 14 points on 15 shots? Grow some balls, Chris! Hey Chris, maybe actually try being something other than another woman’s greatest disappointment. Maybe last longer than thirty seconds putting p in v. Jesus, people like Chris Finch really make me sick.

Speaking of shot attempts equalling points, hey Julius Randle! Julius was playing much better since The Wembanyama was ejected for trying to knock out Naz Reid with an elbow. 6 turnovers from Julius. It’s a miracle how those didn’t lead to worse outcomes. If you go rewatch the 6 turnovers, it’s wild how they all ended up not really hurting the Timberwolves besides the interception to Julian Champagnie. That was terrible. Dad definitely winced at that one. Dad and I, both. 2 of Randle’s 3 assists led directly to made open threes. The other one was a good pass off of a double-team to Anthony Edwards driving to the rim. So there’s what you say to someone who questions Randle’s six turnovers. The turnovers mostly didn’t result in points, and the assists directly led to the most valuable made shots possible. 4 offensive rebounds from Randle as well. Pretty good game! Not as good as Naz Reid though!

“I think I like his name. That might be an all-time name. Hey Naz, my friends in Fair Oaks call me Len, NAZ REID!”

Yeah, Dad is hilarious. He’s why we’re hilarious.

Naz Reid really gutted out what looked like a very serious ankle injury (wearing low-top Kobes) to deliver for the Minnesota faithful. Minnesotans must really worship Naz Reid because he delivers and he delivers when he’s injured (unlike De’Aaron Fox). Do any of these Basketball Scouting Bullshitters talk about how critical it is to be able to perform injured? We don’t think that this aspect of scouting is respected enough. It’s certainly not being applied to Darryn Peterson.

But yeah, Naz Reid was excellent. Sealing the game with that offensive rebound around De’Aaron. A no-look dime to French Rejection for a wide-open dunk during the meat of the fourth quarter. An absolutely nasty in-and-out dribble against Catholic Hammer that will demand to be on Naz Reid’s career highlights. Surviving The Wembanyama’s UFC audition. Breaking down Julian Champagnie off the dribble with a right-to-left crossover through his right foot, leading split legs? And then getting back possession with the same right hand? Wow! Getting an interception on Catholic Hammer and taking it to the house for an and1 layup?!? That’s goddamn Naz Reid! NAZ REID!

Naz Reid is like “Man, these niggas that much better than me?”

No Naz, they’re not. Before the day you die, you gon’ touch the sky.

Pistons 🚗 (+3.5) over CAVALIERS 🤺

- I watched Game 3 and I got that pick right. I can’t take the Cavs to cover again in this series. I’m most likely watching this game.

LAKERS ⭐ (+11.5) over Thunder ⛈️

- I know. I know what I said about refusing to take the Lakers but I can’t help myself. This spread was irresponsible to start and it’s climbing. I just can’t look myself in the mirror and know that I didn’t take such a dogshit team to cover when everyone in the world was standing in the crowd and thinking that they were safe. This is too big of a “contrarion play” for me to pass up on. Of course I’m not watching one second of this game!